Coaching Results Described Three Ways
I was being interviewed as a prospective Coach for a powerful female Executive. She was not all that keen on the idea but had agreed with someone to have a conversation with me. The atmosphere did not feel optimistic.
The Executive invited me to sit and then she starred at me for a few seconds before asking, “what is this Coaching thing anyway, what can I expect to happen for me?”. Well. I decided to wait a moment before responding and offered as follows. “Do you prefer the long, medium or short answer?”, and did my best to smile. She seemed to be processing and finally said, “OK, the medium version”.
I waited a few seconds and said, “see yourself… celebrate what you see”. She looked hard at me, but was clearly turning the words over in her mind. Her face went a bit dark, but she stayed with the offered definition, nodding and shifting her body as the processing evolved for her. After what must have been half a minute something seemed to soften. She cleared her throat, nodded that she understood and smiled. Again the look, but at least this time delivered with a pleasant demeanour.
Again, the seconds of silence. “What’s the short version?” she asked.
I leaned forward and said slowly, “notice… but with a ‘k’, as in k-n-o-w-t-i-c-e”, maintaining full eye contact and my smile as I spoke and spelled.
Yet again, the processing, the silence. Finally, she smiled, nodded and asked me when we could start.
This actually happened. I don’t know how I decided to use the approach I did. Intuition I suppose. And we worked together Coach and Executive, for well over a year.
The invitation to ‘see yourself, celebrate what you see’ can seem deceptively simple. Yet, most people do not find it at all easy to do either of those. To see myself clearly, fully, honestly and to be able to speak what I see, not something that everyone does day to day. The other side of this couple, celebrate what I see, can be at least as difficult to do. When I see the full truth about myself, the ego/gremlin has a field day with my thoughts. Self judgment comes rolling out to fill the mind,. This does not feel like something to celebrate.
It is in seeing oneself clearly and providing the self acceptance (celebrating) of what is seen, that the personal growth of the individual can truly soar. It becomes much easier to identify what is ego/gremlin and what may have a grain of truth worth investigating. Choice becomes more available. Self awareness, we are told by many, is the doorway to all success and in particular to happiness within ourselves. I strive to do these two things for myself. I am happier and feel way more able, because of it. I am more confident and way more accepting of others as well. I am more effective as a business Executive. In turn, my ability to ‘be with’ the Executives that I Coach is definitely increased.
When I notice until I knowtice, I stay with the noticing until I find even the tiniest aha, a discovery about me or about how something works in life. To knowtice is to learn from self through development of a personal regimen of self discovery. Knowticing is simply ‘see yourself, celebrate what you see’ compressed into one word.
Try it in either form. Enjoy
Joseph Seiler MCC
Tao Te Ching verse 33
Knowing others is intelligence
Knowing yourself is true wisdom
Mastering others is strength
Mastering yourself is true power